How to get a job

OBJECTIVE:
Students will get a job using whatever means necessary.

MATERIALS:
Computer
Resumes
Cover letters
Job fairs
Car
Nice clothes
Telephone
Portfolio (optional)

PROCEDURE:
1) Spend hours searching the web for on-line applications.
2) Spend hours filling out on-line applications.
3) Spend weeks finding schools with job openings.
4) Mail resume and cover letter if you find a job you want.
5) Go to job fairs when you find them; dress nicely, and pretend to know what you're talking about in no more than a 5-minute interview.
6) Wait a few weeks hoping you'll get called.
7) When you don't get called, call them and be annoying (but nice).
8) Wait more weeks.
9) Be a pain in the butt and knock on their door.
10) If not successful, go back to step 4 for a new job.
11) Hope that something will come along... anything.

ASSESSMENT:
Students will have met their objective if they make more than $30,000 a year and have the ability to move away from home.

How to make a Green Choopy

OBJECTIVE:
Students will bear the pain of drinking drinks created by a non-drinker, while being thankful that we can share in this esoteric experience.

MATERIALS:
1 part vodka
1 part scotch
Green food coloring
Beverage holder

PROCEDURE:
1) Mix all ingredients togther in your favorite beverage holder.
2) Prepare for the worst.
3) Drink it all up.
4) Thank your Brothers for their friendship.

ASSESSMENT:
Students will have met the objective if they can see that the true test is not in drinking a Green Choopy, but that the experience transcends all human limitations.